The academy has handled the pandemic poorly, responding to declining enrollments and budget shortfalls by increasing class sizes, cutting entire programs, and laying off contingent employees en masse. The situation is especially grim in public university systems like CUNY, bled for decades by austerity. In the midst of all this, those of us lucky enough to keep our jobs are enjoined to "reimagine digital pedagogy" so as to somehow replicate the experience of face-to-face teaching in a remote setting. This is impossible. There is no way to replicate a face-to-face course online in the best of times, and resisting the limitations of online teaching during a pandemic guarantees the professional exhaustion that people who monetize their blogs call "burnout."